- B starts Kindergarten in 34 days. THIRTY FOUR DAYS! Aaaaaaaaand enter anxiety-driven mama.
- I read the samples of Tina Fey's Bossypants and Ellen DeGeneres' Seriously...I'm Kidding at gymnastics last night and literally laughed out loud at certain parts. Those will both be added to the Kindle family shortly.
- Still haven't made a decision about a job opportunity (at my current company); right now I'm not sure if I'm mentally and emotionally ready to handle a change, but in the long run it could benefit me financially and conceptually regarding the company.
- You have to do what's best for you.
- Is it annoying to anybody else to get a "thank you" email back when you complete something you're supposed to do? I appreciate that my help is appreciated, but sending an email with two words when I'm just doing my job - specifically opening and printing a document for someone, very simple and quick - is more irritating than anything because it just fills up my Inbox. Is that rude of me to think, or is this a general consensus?
- Along those lines of email etiquette...why do people insist on "Reply to All" when the information relayed back has nothing to do with anybody else? If I get an email along with 18 other people regarding my time tracking, do you think I give a hoot about theirs? No. I reply to the manager who asked because she's the one who needs the information. Then, I sit back and eagerly wait for the emails to roll in with pointless information filling my inbox and decreasing my productivity because I have to filter through them all. Side note: there needs to be a font for sarcasm.
- I was working on organizing my scrap room on Sunday night (the trim is installed - pics to come - and now I get to put it all back together...yay!) and realized that the only sane way to do so is to lay everything out and put it back in. Yes, this makes a bigger mess. I got a good portion done but there's still a lot left to do and a lot yet to figure out.
- Last night B fell asleep in our bed and instead of moving her when I crawled in, I snuggled up next to her. There's something so wonderful about that, and I definitely take moments like that for granted. With all the hustle and bustle at work, then coming home to dinner and activities and cleaning, I forget that sometimes I don't need "me" time. Sometimes I need a good snuggle too with my big girl and I better get a lot of those in quickly before she gets too old!
- Is there a way to attach a camera to myself? I've been terrible this year at taking pictures. I do need to figure out how to adjust the shutter speed and make it so the picture doesn't show up on the display for so long (if at all) which causes delays. Not good when photographing kids.
- Anybody have big plans this weekend? I was thinking about starting a pretty exciting project, but I may want to use this weekend to hit the beach with the girls or something fun like that!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday's Tid Bits
Monday, July 30, 2012
Weekend Bliss
Well, not much "bliss" this weekend; spent most of the time on the couch sore, even from sitting. Check out this gnarly bruise I got from the IV...it's been a deep shade of purple since I took this picture Friday morning.
B drew me a couple pictures. This is me and her being "bee monkeys".
And this is Daddy, Mommy, and B at a party. Looks fun :)
Friday, July 27, 2012
Miscarriage: It Wasn't Over Yet
It's been 7 weeks since the medically induced miscarriage, and we thought we were in the clear...well, we thought wrong.
WARNING: Graphic details ahead!
I had spent a few weeks bleeding but mostly spotting following the miscarriage. When I finally stopped, I was so excited and just in time for the Fourth of July! However, July 8th I found myself with my first menstrual cycle. Go figure, right? It lasted a week, which is two days longer than normal, but I attributed the immense body changes to that issue. I had a week's break and was eagerly peeing on a stick every morning to define my ovulation days, when all of a sudden on Tuesday I started bleeding again. Are you kidding me? I was more upset that my cycle was off than thinking anything was wrong. Wednesday I had no signs of even spotting, so I thought that was strange.
Yesterday, however, I woke up at 7am feeling like I was gushing blood again. I went to the bathroom and it was bright red and thin, and I had to push out clots. Immediately my mind went back to June 8th and the half hour in hell and it was too similar for comfort. I told J that something was wrong, and that I would call my doctor at 8am when the office opened. Panic washed through me...was this another miscarriage? Could I have gotten pregnant already and not known? Or is this remnants from the first miscarriage that never made it out? My doctor stopped testing my hCG levels after they were at 208 and I didn't have any follow up appointments, so I was scared to death that seven weeks later I would have an infection of some sort.
When I talked to the nurse on my doctor's care team, she confirmed that I should wait one more hour and if I fill a pad (I had already filled one in the hour waiting) that I needed to go to the ER and would likely need an emergency D&C. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. That's what I had been trying to avoid this entire time! I cried. And waited. Sure enough, not even a half hour later I had to change pads. I called my husband and he came to get me since I was instructed not to drive with the amount of blood loss I was experiencing.
By the time we reached the hospital, I was experiencing cramping that went from just uncomfortable to a steady pain, about a 5-6 on the scale. Of course an ER visit is never quick, so it was about two hours in which they talked with me, took note of my recent history, performed a pelvic exam (I'm sorry, but men should not be involved in those...I was in so much pain during that) where they found big clots and lots of "pooled blood", sent me in for an ultrasound (which also hurt immensely, but let's face it, I was at the point where if I didn't suck it up they wouldn't be able to get the information they needed), and determined that I would in fact need an emergency D&C.
The OB doctor came in and confirmed that there were "products of conception" from the previous miscarriage that had not expelled in the seven weeks since the miscarriage. The only way to ensure I wouldn't get an infection and stop the bleeding (by this point it was still intensely heavy, worse than when I was admitted) was to get all of the tissue out with a D&C. She explained the procedure - they would dilate my cervix if it wasn't (which we knew from the pelvic exam) and use a vacuum-like tool to scrape the sides of my uterus and remove whatever was left. The risks included infection, possible punctures to the uterus and / or bowel lining (if that happened I would have required more surgery and a longer, likely overnight hospital stay), and of course scarring. Since this was from an actual pregnancy, my uterus lining would be softer and more sensitive so her plan was to use a partially aggressive approach, enough to get what she needed out, but definitely be gentle at the same time.
Honestly, I was scared and I could hear it in my voice when I asked her a couple questions. This was what I had been avoiding from the beginning yet here I was in the ER on a random Thursday weeks after my miscarriage had been induced. It didn't seem fair. I was in pain and hungry and sick of the gushing blood so I agreed to the procedure and signed. Immediate they began the prep, I overheard that the operating room would be available for me in 25 minutes. They told me that from start of prep, through the procedure, and recovery it would be a half hour. That wasn't so bad. I would be sedated so I would be breathing on my own and wouldn't feel anything, thankfully.
They made necessary preparations which included an IV, notes on my medical history, and started wheeling me off to the OR. It's just as scary as I thought it would be, only having been in an OR when B had tubes put in her ears back in August 2008 but of course I was just there until she was sedated. The lights, the number of people running around to move me, strap me down, hook up my monitors, the contraptions they had...I knew my blood pressure was still through the roof (most of the morning it was about 160-180 over 120...way too frickin high!). After a few breaths of the gas, I was out.
I don't know how I woke up, if they did or if it was on my own, but I felt extremely tired and just wanted to see my husband. I cried a lot in the recovery room because it hit me how long I have been mourning this loss and everything I have physically gone through for this. I wanted so badly to have already been mended and ready for another try, yet here I was months later...one step forward and two steps back it seemed. They gave me one dose of an antibiotic to prevent infection and some extra-strength ibuprofen to ease any pain. When they brought me to my private recovery room and J came in, I found out that I had been gone for two hours, not the half hour we were initially told. It wasn't explained to either of us why it was so long, but at least everything went well. By 3:30pm I was discharged and heading out, really sore when walking but the bleeding had subsided by a landslide and I wasn't really feeling pain. I was hungry as hell for some greasy food though...
After eating at DQ and heading to pick up B, I laid on the couch the rest of the night. My arms and legs would feel tingly whenever I stood up or sat a certain way, so I was careful about that. I was told I could go into work if I felt better, so here I am today trucking through. I have no pain but am sore. I am weak and tired but I am sure it's because I only ate once in 36 hours. My arm is severely bruised from the IV, and I've had plenty of IVs but never this much bruising. Luckily I have a job where I can sit in my cubicle all day and not have to walk around if I don't need to so it's kind of like resting I suppose.
I still need to be cautious of vomiting, nausea, pain, or heavy bleeding. Next week I have a follow up appointment with the OB who performed the D&C and she is going to take the extra precaution and order an ultrasound so she can verify that the tissue is out as well as see how my recovery has been. Part of me is so frustrated that I had to go through everything else when I could have done this D&C sooner, but I know that at the time I was terrified of taking that step and this was a last resort. It is what it is. Now hopefully this truly is the end of this ordeal and we can move forward without a doubt.
*Update 8/14/12: Well, after seeing my doctor on the 2nd for my follow up, she told me she was concerned that I developed Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding (DUB). Essentially, in non-medical terms, that's like having a spontaneous/continuous menstrual cycle. All. The. Time. As if once a month isn't enough... We have to wait it out until after I get my next cycle just to make sure since it's expected soon. If I am still experiencing bleeding we will need to go to medication for resolve. Lucky me, I know you're jealous. Also, it feels weird to admit this but I think talking about it will help, she feels that I am on the border when it comes to postpartum depression. I can't imagine why... (maybe because I've burst out crying about six times in the two visits I've had with her?). It's a scary thing and I definitely don't feel like hurting myself or anybody, but I do feel like I let my family down, let myself down, and basically am just wallowing in self pity and "whys". I hate that about myself right now, but it's how I'm feeling so I might as well just own up to it. Pity party at my house. I kid. She said she wouldn't prescribe me anything yet, as it could very well get better soon now that the D&C is complete. I believe her...I've spend much less time crying the last couple weeks over what happened so maybe the finality of it all is allowing me to move on. Fingers crossed and prayers prayed.
WARNING: Graphic details ahead!
I had spent a few weeks bleeding but mostly spotting following the miscarriage. When I finally stopped, I was so excited and just in time for the Fourth of July! However, July 8th I found myself with my first menstrual cycle. Go figure, right? It lasted a week, which is two days longer than normal, but I attributed the immense body changes to that issue. I had a week's break and was eagerly peeing on a stick every morning to define my ovulation days, when all of a sudden on Tuesday I started bleeding again. Are you kidding me? I was more upset that my cycle was off than thinking anything was wrong. Wednesday I had no signs of even spotting, so I thought that was strange.
Yesterday, however, I woke up at 7am feeling like I was gushing blood again. I went to the bathroom and it was bright red and thin, and I had to push out clots. Immediately my mind went back to June 8th and the half hour in hell and it was too similar for comfort. I told J that something was wrong, and that I would call my doctor at 8am when the office opened. Panic washed through me...was this another miscarriage? Could I have gotten pregnant already and not known? Or is this remnants from the first miscarriage that never made it out? My doctor stopped testing my hCG levels after they were at 208 and I didn't have any follow up appointments, so I was scared to death that seven weeks later I would have an infection of some sort.
When I talked to the nurse on my doctor's care team, she confirmed that I should wait one more hour and if I fill a pad (I had already filled one in the hour waiting) that I needed to go to the ER and would likely need an emergency D&C. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. That's what I had been trying to avoid this entire time! I cried. And waited. Sure enough, not even a half hour later I had to change pads. I called my husband and he came to get me since I was instructed not to drive with the amount of blood loss I was experiencing.
By the time we reached the hospital, I was experiencing cramping that went from just uncomfortable to a steady pain, about a 5-6 on the scale. Of course an ER visit is never quick, so it was about two hours in which they talked with me, took note of my recent history, performed a pelvic exam (I'm sorry, but men should not be involved in those...I was in so much pain during that) where they found big clots and lots of "pooled blood", sent me in for an ultrasound (which also hurt immensely, but let's face it, I was at the point where if I didn't suck it up they wouldn't be able to get the information they needed), and determined that I would in fact need an emergency D&C.
The OB doctor came in and confirmed that there were "products of conception" from the previous miscarriage that had not expelled in the seven weeks since the miscarriage. The only way to ensure I wouldn't get an infection and stop the bleeding (by this point it was still intensely heavy, worse than when I was admitted) was to get all of the tissue out with a D&C. She explained the procedure - they would dilate my cervix if it wasn't (which we knew from the pelvic exam) and use a vacuum-like tool to scrape the sides of my uterus and remove whatever was left. The risks included infection, possible punctures to the uterus and / or bowel lining (if that happened I would have required more surgery and a longer, likely overnight hospital stay), and of course scarring. Since this was from an actual pregnancy, my uterus lining would be softer and more sensitive so her plan was to use a partially aggressive approach, enough to get what she needed out, but definitely be gentle at the same time.
Honestly, I was scared and I could hear it in my voice when I asked her a couple questions. This was what I had been avoiding from the beginning yet here I was in the ER on a random Thursday weeks after my miscarriage had been induced. It didn't seem fair. I was in pain and hungry and sick of the gushing blood so I agreed to the procedure and signed. Immediate they began the prep, I overheard that the operating room would be available for me in 25 minutes. They told me that from start of prep, through the procedure, and recovery it would be a half hour. That wasn't so bad. I would be sedated so I would be breathing on my own and wouldn't feel anything, thankfully.
They made necessary preparations which included an IV, notes on my medical history, and started wheeling me off to the OR. It's just as scary as I thought it would be, only having been in an OR when B had tubes put in her ears back in August 2008 but of course I was just there until she was sedated. The lights, the number of people running around to move me, strap me down, hook up my monitors, the contraptions they had...I knew my blood pressure was still through the roof (most of the morning it was about 160-180 over 120...way too frickin high!). After a few breaths of the gas, I was out.
I don't know how I woke up, if they did or if it was on my own, but I felt extremely tired and just wanted to see my husband. I cried a lot in the recovery room because it hit me how long I have been mourning this loss and everything I have physically gone through for this. I wanted so badly to have already been mended and ready for another try, yet here I was months later...one step forward and two steps back it seemed. They gave me one dose of an antibiotic to prevent infection and some extra-strength ibuprofen to ease any pain. When they brought me to my private recovery room and J came in, I found out that I had been gone for two hours, not the half hour we were initially told. It wasn't explained to either of us why it was so long, but at least everything went well. By 3:30pm I was discharged and heading out, really sore when walking but the bleeding had subsided by a landslide and I wasn't really feeling pain. I was hungry as hell for some greasy food though...
After eating at DQ and heading to pick up B, I laid on the couch the rest of the night. My arms and legs would feel tingly whenever I stood up or sat a certain way, so I was careful about that. I was told I could go into work if I felt better, so here I am today trucking through. I have no pain but am sore. I am weak and tired but I am sure it's because I only ate once in 36 hours. My arm is severely bruised from the IV, and I've had plenty of IVs but never this much bruising. Luckily I have a job where I can sit in my cubicle all day and not have to walk around if I don't need to so it's kind of like resting I suppose.
I still need to be cautious of vomiting, nausea, pain, or heavy bleeding. Next week I have a follow up appointment with the OB who performed the D&C and she is going to take the extra precaution and order an ultrasound so she can verify that the tissue is out as well as see how my recovery has been. Part of me is so frustrated that I had to go through everything else when I could have done this D&C sooner, but I know that at the time I was terrified of taking that step and this was a last resort. It is what it is. Now hopefully this truly is the end of this ordeal and we can move forward without a doubt.
*Update 8/14/12: Well, after seeing my doctor on the 2nd for my follow up, she told me she was concerned that I developed Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding (DUB). Essentially, in non-medical terms, that's like having a spontaneous/continuous menstrual cycle. All. The. Time. As if once a month isn't enough... We have to wait it out until after I get my next cycle just to make sure since it's expected soon. If I am still experiencing bleeding we will need to go to medication for resolve. Lucky me, I know you're jealous. Also, it feels weird to admit this but I think talking about it will help, she feels that I am on the border when it comes to postpartum depression. I can't imagine why... (maybe because I've burst out crying about six times in the two visits I've had with her?). It's a scary thing and I definitely don't feel like hurting myself or anybody, but I do feel like I let my family down, let myself down, and basically am just wallowing in self pity and "whys". I hate that about myself right now, but it's how I'm feeling so I might as well just own up to it. Pity party at my house. I kid. She said she wouldn't prescribe me anything yet, as it could very well get better soon now that the D&C is complete. I believe her...I've spend much less time crying the last couple weeks over what happened so maybe the finality of it all is allowing me to move on. Fingers crossed and prayers prayed.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Frustrations and Blessings
Frustrations
- I fell behind on publishing posts.
- I keep forgetting to take pictures of recipes for posts.
- Everything costs money.
- I was right about my moodiness; my body isn't back to normal yet after our loss and it's definitely taking a toll on me physically and emotionally. I wanted this to be over with already.
- J isn't able to join us girls this weekend for the annual family camp out.
- Had I known the previous, B and I would have camped in a tent rather than rent a hotel room for the night.
- I'd like a snack, but there's no need to grocery shop before leaving this weekend, so I can only dream of dill pickle chips for now.
- Insecurities about my body are kicking my butt right now.
- I catch myself clenching my teeth, which means I'm stressed.
Blessings
- Our basement looks amazing; doors and trim are installed, painting is complete...all that's left is a project for myself to complete and furniture set up, then adding decor.
- The craft room has a door and white trim. Now to put it back together and organize it properly. FINALLY.
- My girls are amazing.
- My husband makes me laugh.
- I have an opportunity at work, whether or not it's the right move I don't know yet, but I'm blessed to have been given the option.
- I think I have a pretty amazing Christmas present idea for the girls...now to get hubby on board.
- Our one year anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks.
That's all for now, remember to vote, please!
Vote for Me, Please!
Right now I'm in a contest for a Glamour Session from Ginny Haupert Photography. Not only do I know Ginny from elementary school, but she is a fantastic photographer! I would be honored to have some photos done by her.
The contest is through Facebook, so please see the information below and Like the photo in her Glamour Contest album with my name on it: Kimberly Kotlowski.
I'd appreciate your vote and the vote of your friends if you could share the photo and rally the troops! As you know it's been a long couple of months for me and this would be so fantastic to win! Thank you!!
The contest is through Facebook, so please see the information below and Like the photo in her Glamour Contest album with my name on it: Kimberly Kotlowski.
I'd appreciate your vote and the vote of your friends if you could share the photo and rally the troops! As you know it's been a long couple of months for me and this would be so fantastic to win! Thank you!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Headband Holder
A few months back I was trying to figure out an effective way to organize my daughter's headbands. She loves picking the perfect one out in the morning before school, but rammaging through a drawer didn't seem suitable for such an exciting daily event.
I came across this on Pinterest (where else?) and decided to give it go.
First I gathered my supplies:
Hot glue gun, oatmeal can (large), paint, brushes, adhesive, stand, scrapbook paper, and of course, music :)
I found this when I went Goodwill hunting (ha!) back in December, and knew this would be the perfect project for this little $0.99 piece.
Originally I chose green because the girls room is a mix of purple, lime green, and aqua. However, I immediately didn't like it. I let it dry and later on painted it white (no pics).
I used my scrapbooking adhesive (basically large strips of double sided tape) around the oatmeal can so the scrapbook paper wouldn't bubble with the hot glue.
I applied the paper to the upside down can, already knowing one sheet wouldn't go all the way around, so I applied and overlapped.
I folded the excess over the bottom of the can, sort of like wrapping a Christmas gift.
For the cover, I knew I would have to spice it up a little bit. Using my Creative Memories cutter, I found a coordinating pattern and cut a circle the size of the cover.
See? I used adhesive to attach it upside down, so the pattern would be on top.
It was still missing something, so I decided to try ribbon.
I ran it through my sticker maker and wound it around the edge of the cover.
Much better! The top is complete!
For the bottom, I grabbed the finished top, my hot glue gun, and my newly white base.
Carefully I applied a LOT of glue to the top of the base and found it centered.
Handed my camera to B so she could snap some photos while I pushed down...
Then, I let her fish out all her goodies to start packing in!
Everything from her gymnastic headbands to big flowery clips can sit inside...
Which is easy to access for a 5-year-old...
And she has easy access to her headbands on display!
So cute! I'm glad I was able to find something that she could use daily without worrying about pinched fingers or tangled messes.
What solutions do you have for bathroom necessities?
I came across this on Pinterest (where else?) and decided to give it go.
 |
| {via} |
First I gathered my supplies:
Hot glue gun, oatmeal can (large), paint, brushes, adhesive, stand, scrapbook paper, and of course, music :)
I found this when I went Goodwill hunting (ha!) back in December, and knew this would be the perfect project for this little $0.99 piece.
Originally I chose green because the girls room is a mix of purple, lime green, and aqua. However, I immediately didn't like it. I let it dry and later on painted it white (no pics).
I used my scrapbooking adhesive (basically large strips of double sided tape) around the oatmeal can so the scrapbook paper wouldn't bubble with the hot glue.
I applied the paper to the upside down can, already knowing one sheet wouldn't go all the way around, so I applied and overlapped.
I folded the excess over the bottom of the can, sort of like wrapping a Christmas gift.
For the cover, I knew I would have to spice it up a little bit. Using my Creative Memories cutter, I found a coordinating pattern and cut a circle the size of the cover.
See? I used adhesive to attach it upside down, so the pattern would be on top.
It was still missing something, so I decided to try ribbon.
I ran it through my sticker maker and wound it around the edge of the cover.
Much better! The top is complete!
For the bottom, I grabbed the finished top, my hot glue gun, and my newly white base.
Carefully I applied a LOT of glue to the top of the base and found it centered.
Handed my camera to B so she could snap some photos while I pushed down...
Then, I let her fish out all her goodies to start packing in!
Everything from her gymnastic headbands to big flowery clips can sit inside...
Which is easy to access for a 5-year-old...
And she has easy access to her headbands on display!
So cute! I'm glad I was able to find something that she could use daily without worrying about pinched fingers or tangled messes.
What solutions do you have for bathroom necessities?
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Fifty Shades of Lame - Part One
I finally caved and read the Fifty Shades Trilogy after hearing all the hype, both good and bad, so I could determine which team I was on. I warn you, this is a very blunt post with spoilers about the first book (the other two to follow), so stop reading now if you don't want to hear it! I will keep the material PG-13, or R at it's worst. Please keep in mind that these are my opinions and I am entitled to them!
Fifty Shades of Grey
Oh boy, where do I start with this? Anastasia is a typical college girl, 21 I believe, lacking confidence (why play on the self-esteem issues girls have in current society, really?), hasn't found anybody of interest yet, enjoys the company of her friends, and is preparing to graduate. By a stroke of fate, she is coerced into interviewing Christian Grey, who is essentially every 18-year-old's fantasy. Fantastically handsome, disgustingly rich, surprisingly philanthropic, predictably perfect abs, unavoidably large "member", and simply orgasmic based on the reactions of women around him to his ego that's oozing of sexy confidence. The weirdest detail this author dwells on via Ana's mind is his long fingers. What the french toast is that about? It grosses me out every time that pops up in the book. Is this a "you-know-what-big-hands-mean" reference, again skirting back to an 18-year-old's fantasy man? Ugh.
Anyways, Ana is of course flabbergasted by Christian (OK, I can relate to that, I mean my husband is ridiculously sexy and I remember the nerves when first meeting him) and completely in awe of his eyes which seem to change colors of gray with his mood, hence the title of the book. When he starts to pursue her, she doubts his advances and also sees hints of his controlling nature right off the bat. Her BFF Kate recognizes those signs though and is concerned about Ana and I wish I could throw on a cheerleader outfit and scream "RUN, ANA, RUN!" along with Kate because I can see where this is headed. Welcome to Guy-With-Issues-Girl-Wants-To-Fix-Ville. Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little.
Christian warns Ana he's no good for her but even that doesn't send her running for the hills, in fact she ends up at his place and he has her sign some sort of zip-lip agreement, where she can't discuss their "arrangement" (because of course he told her outright he doesn't "do" commitment and relationships, why wouldn't she be obsessed with this guy, right?) with anybody. She signs without reading *smacks forehead* and he brings her into a Red Room of Pain, as she begins to call it. Christian is a Dominant in an BDSM world, and has all sorts of contraptions he uses for sexual pleasure. Instead of clubbing him over the head and running for help, Ana hangs around and decides she wants a glimpse of what Christian's hobby is about, and soon it's disclosed that she's a virgin. Talk about a born-freak. In a spur-of-the-moment decision, Christian fore goes the kinky gadgets and takes her virginity, calling it "vanilla"...
Enter huge issue I have with this book...the timeline. Basically, it feels like this chick has known him for a week or two at the most and already she's signing agreements, up for weird sexual encounters, obsessed with the guy falling over herself (literally), and doesn't object to losing her virginity to him? Oh. My. God. *double smack* Where's the chase? And I don't mean stalk-me-for-a-week-and-I'm-yours...WOW (and yes, anything can be hyphenated). He finds out where she lives, tracks her phone, and knows way too much about her magically. With his stinkin-richness, he takes her in helicopter rides, out to expensive meals, and even buys her a brand new car as a "graduation gift". Sheesh. Well, at least he tried in his own way, right? Is this what is wooing women all over the country...some rich fella spoiling someone he wants to dominate? Puh-lease. Give me some substance in a relationship.
After all that nonsense, Christian offers up a contract regarding their sexual relationship and Ana discovers that it's BDSM (I'll admit, I had to Google it to see how far this crap went and man alive this is insane...definitely 18+ OBVIOUSLY, you have to be stark crazy, too) and extremely intense. With him in the Dominant role and herself as the Submissive, she actually considers this heavily. WHAT? There are rules about eating, sleeping, working out, wardrobe, and behavior. My goodness. Now regardless of his striking good looks (according to her fairly ridiculous reaction and near "O" EVERY time she sees him), a contract of that sorts is plain insane and NOW is the time she should be running for the hills. But does she? Nope. She is so infatuated with this guy she actually considers it, but at least she makes notes...no to this, OK to that, compromise this...
She finds out that his introduction into the BDSM world was through a friend of his adopted mother's (his biological mom was a crack whore and her pimp abused him which is why he has a "no touch" rule...yes he has a therapist) when he was 15 years old. Disturbing. His Dominant earns the name "Mrs. Robinson" per Ana and appropriately she is disgusted but it gives her reason to pity Christian, as any person should with that situation.
The main dislike - aside from the poor writing - of this book is the depth of the characters. Christian is obviously a douche about commitment and love, and Ana is completely starstruck by him. I had this problem with the Twilight books too, I don't think it gives an accurate or safe description of love. Control, jealousy, and serious baggage are not safe. I mean, yes, everyone has their issues, but when a contract is presented and it's apparent this guy is a sadistic SOB never mind the safe words and promise not to hurt you physically, that is a huge emotional strain.
And what's with the twice a day sexual encounters? Every time they walk into a room together they get it on and to top it off it never lasts very long. You'd think with his experience he would have some stamina. I know this is supposed to be an erotic novel and it's fantasy, but who wants a horse to be worn out at the first turn of the race?
Another annoyance: the reference she makes to her inner goddess constantly...particularly when she "performs a triple back flip tuck and roll" type deal. How is her inner goddess so athletic when Ana herself trips over everything in sight? Come on. *dares to rolls eyes in defiance of a twitchy palm* If the author had used that line once in the series it would have been fine. Whatever. Great, Ana was excited at one point. But no, she chooses to revive it with a new athletic ability nearly every other chapter. It's old, seriously.
SPOILER ALERT. Ana finally wants a taste of what Christian is about. So, he pulls her into the Red Room, angry as hell and belts her. She doesn't use the safe word but is completely horrified that he would want to hurt her and punish her, and the fact that he needs to do this for pleasure FINALLY sends her running off. I mean thank God! The book ends with her hugging a deflated balloon representing his helicopter. Since there are two more books to the series, I seriously doubt their "relationship" is over.
All in all, I will continue reading just because it's such a prominent topic right now and they're easy reads (I mean the author uses the same descriptions, phrases, and metaphors throughout the entire read...maybe with all the money she's making from the sale of these books she can invest in a flippin' thesaurus); however, I don't like this book. It's the same thing over and over again: his mouth in a grim line, touching his lips, gaping at each other, his carnal instinct, her flushing (her face, not the toilet), looking at her twisting fingers, gasping, hissing, growling, whispering, same description every time for the explicit events...the list goes on and on and on. I have no intention of reading it again (whereas I'm already on my second run through the Hunger Games trilogy in a month) and won't recommend it to anybody. I don't understand the hype of it all, the claims that it will spice up anybody's sex life or cause a "Fifty Shades of Grey" baby boom...but we'll see what the rest of the trilogy holds.
Did you read it? What did you think of it?
Fifty Shades of Grey
Oh boy, where do I start with this? Anastasia is a typical college girl, 21 I believe, lacking confidence (why play on the self-esteem issues girls have in current society, really?), hasn't found anybody of interest yet, enjoys the company of her friends, and is preparing to graduate. By a stroke of fate, she is coerced into interviewing Christian Grey, who is essentially every 18-year-old's fantasy. Fantastically handsome, disgustingly rich, surprisingly philanthropic, predictably perfect abs, unavoidably large "member", and simply orgasmic based on the reactions of women around him to his ego that's oozing of sexy confidence. The weirdest detail this author dwells on via Ana's mind is his long fingers. What the french toast is that about? It grosses me out every time that pops up in the book. Is this a "you-know-what-big-hands-mean" reference, again skirting back to an 18-year-old's fantasy man? Ugh.
Anyways, Ana is of course flabbergasted by Christian (OK, I can relate to that, I mean my husband is ridiculously sexy and I remember the nerves when first meeting him) and completely in awe of his eyes which seem to change colors of gray with his mood, hence the title of the book. When he starts to pursue her, she doubts his advances and also sees hints of his controlling nature right off the bat. Her BFF Kate recognizes those signs though and is concerned about Ana and I wish I could throw on a cheerleader outfit and scream "RUN, ANA, RUN!" along with Kate because I can see where this is headed. Welcome to Guy-With-Issues-Girl-Wants-To-Fix-Ville. Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little.
Christian warns Ana he's no good for her but even that doesn't send her running for the hills, in fact she ends up at his place and he has her sign some sort of zip-lip agreement, where she can't discuss their "arrangement" (because of course he told her outright he doesn't "do" commitment and relationships, why wouldn't she be obsessed with this guy, right?) with anybody. She signs without reading *smacks forehead* and he brings her into a Red Room of Pain, as she begins to call it. Christian is a Dominant in an BDSM world, and has all sorts of contraptions he uses for sexual pleasure. Instead of clubbing him over the head and running for help, Ana hangs around and decides she wants a glimpse of what Christian's hobby is about, and soon it's disclosed that she's a virgin. Talk about a born-freak. In a spur-of-the-moment decision, Christian fore goes the kinky gadgets and takes her virginity, calling it "vanilla"...
Enter huge issue I have with this book...the timeline. Basically, it feels like this chick has known him for a week or two at the most and already she's signing agreements, up for weird sexual encounters, obsessed with the guy falling over herself (literally), and doesn't object to losing her virginity to him? Oh. My. God. *double smack* Where's the chase? And I don't mean stalk-me-for-a-week-and-I'm-yours...WOW (and yes, anything can be hyphenated). He finds out where she lives, tracks her phone, and knows way too much about her magically. With his stinkin-richness, he takes her in helicopter rides, out to expensive meals, and even buys her a brand new car as a "graduation gift". Sheesh. Well, at least he tried in his own way, right? Is this what is wooing women all over the country...some rich fella spoiling someone he wants to dominate? Puh-lease. Give me some substance in a relationship.
After all that nonsense, Christian offers up a contract regarding their sexual relationship and Ana discovers that it's BDSM (I'll admit, I had to Google it to see how far this crap went and man alive this is insane...definitely 18+ OBVIOUSLY, you have to be stark crazy, too) and extremely intense. With him in the Dominant role and herself as the Submissive, she actually considers this heavily. WHAT? There are rules about eating, sleeping, working out, wardrobe, and behavior. My goodness. Now regardless of his striking good looks (according to her fairly ridiculous reaction and near "O" EVERY time she sees him), a contract of that sorts is plain insane and NOW is the time she should be running for the hills. But does she? Nope. She is so infatuated with this guy she actually considers it, but at least she makes notes...no to this, OK to that, compromise this...
She finds out that his introduction into the BDSM world was through a friend of his adopted mother's (his biological mom was a crack whore and her pimp abused him which is why he has a "no touch" rule...yes he has a therapist) when he was 15 years old. Disturbing. His Dominant earns the name "Mrs. Robinson" per Ana and appropriately she is disgusted but it gives her reason to pity Christian, as any person should with that situation.
The main dislike - aside from the poor writing - of this book is the depth of the characters. Christian is obviously a douche about commitment and love, and Ana is completely starstruck by him. I had this problem with the Twilight books too, I don't think it gives an accurate or safe description of love. Control, jealousy, and serious baggage are not safe. I mean, yes, everyone has their issues, but when a contract is presented and it's apparent this guy is a sadistic SOB never mind the safe words and promise not to hurt you physically, that is a huge emotional strain.
And what's with the twice a day sexual encounters? Every time they walk into a room together they get it on and to top it off it never lasts very long. You'd think with his experience he would have some stamina. I know this is supposed to be an erotic novel and it's fantasy, but who wants a horse to be worn out at the first turn of the race?
Another annoyance: the reference she makes to her inner goddess constantly...particularly when she "performs a triple back flip tuck and roll" type deal. How is her inner goddess so athletic when Ana herself trips over everything in sight? Come on. *dares to rolls eyes in defiance of a twitchy palm* If the author had used that line once in the series it would have been fine. Whatever. Great, Ana was excited at one point. But no, she chooses to revive it with a new athletic ability nearly every other chapter. It's old, seriously.
SPOILER ALERT. Ana finally wants a taste of what Christian is about. So, he pulls her into the Red Room, angry as hell and belts her. She doesn't use the safe word but is completely horrified that he would want to hurt her and punish her, and the fact that he needs to do this for pleasure FINALLY sends her running off. I mean thank God! The book ends with her hugging a deflated balloon representing his helicopter. Since there are two more books to the series, I seriously doubt their "relationship" is over.
All in all, I will continue reading just because it's such a prominent topic right now and they're easy reads (I mean the author uses the same descriptions, phrases, and metaphors throughout the entire read...maybe with all the money she's making from the sale of these books she can invest in a flippin' thesaurus); however, I don't like this book. It's the same thing over and over again: his mouth in a grim line, touching his lips, gaping at each other, his carnal instinct, her flushing (her face, not the toilet), looking at her twisting fingers, gasping, hissing, growling, whispering, same description every time for the explicit events...the list goes on and on and on. I have no intention of reading it again (whereas I'm already on my second run through the Hunger Games trilogy in a month) and won't recommend it to anybody. I don't understand the hype of it all, the claims that it will spice up anybody's sex life or cause a "Fifty Shades of Grey" baby boom...but we'll see what the rest of the trilogy holds.
Did you read it? What did you think of it?
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Tuesday's Tidbits
- I finished Fifty Shades of Grey. Check back tomorrow for my commentary...if you dare.
- Among many of the issues I had this weekend, one of them included blogging because my hubby's laptop won't let me add pictures to my posts! What the heck? I have to figure that out if I want to keep blogging on weekends, which I do, because my laptop barely survives at this point.
- This week I have a dentist appointment (can't wait ha!), a scrap date with my BFF and her sister, another weekend with both girls, and The Bachelorette finale on Sunday. In the meantime, I'm going to be keeping up with housework, blogging, and working on the basement. Is it weird that this is exciting for me?
- Last Friday I successfully planned meals until the end of the month, grocery shopped, and only spent $160! Next week I have to do it all over again and will definitely share my process and tips!
- I'm really frustrated right now for some reason. I can't put my finger on it honestly. It could be the weight of the last two months bearing down on me as I return to normalcy; perhaps it's the pressure at work or the unfinished projects at home; maybe it's the inadequate feelings I have for not having a successful blog, not being able to stay home with my daughter, or effectively manage a home.
- Also, I left a pile of dirty dishes last night. The weekend exhausted me and I just wanted to sit down, continue reading, and watch The Bachelorette.
- Speaking of which, Chris is more irritating than Kalen. He interrupts, is extremely argumentative, and comes off aggressive around other men to assert his manlihood. Gross. Sean, on the other hand, better be the next bachelor...if so, I'm hooked on the series. If they pass it off to Jef or Arie I won't watch. At least Chris Harrison put to rest that Ryan won't be getting his own show...oh, and Emily is hilarious when she isn't edited out for TV!
- On Saturday the girls and I went and got pedicures and it felt so awesome. B was meant for it, she was right at home and enjoyed herself so much! E sat patiently on my lap until the last 10 minutes, but she surprised me by how well she behaved.
- I nearly kick myself whenever I make one of my favorite recipes and forget to take pictures to blog about it. Sheesh.
- Can this week be over yet?
Monday, July 16, 2012
Bloggity Blog
As a new blogger, I feel like a baby bird slowly working her way from chirping blindly and following mommy bird's lead to cautiously spreading my wings and practicing flight...between now and the day my blog really takes off on its own, there's a lot of work to do. I appreciate the people who have commented on my posts (it's like crack for bloggers, I swear) and supported my blog by reading it so very much! So, if you stop by here and there to check things out, why not make it permanent? Please subscribe by email and join the site via Google on the sidebar. The more, the merrier, right?
I love reading blogs, so please feel free to comment leaving your blog and I will certainly add it to my list of daily reads. Nothing beats making new blogging friends, right?
Much love, KK.
I love reading blogs, so please feel free to comment leaving your blog and I will certainly add it to my list of daily reads. Nothing beats making new blogging friends, right?
Much love, KK.
Weekend Bliss
We had a "pool party" this weekend...it's amazing how little things like this are so fun to watch when kids are involved.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Scrapbooking
Yesterday my friend Meagan came over and between girl talk and snacking, we managed to get some scrapbook pages done. We were both working on our wedding, and I'm in "completion mode". My goal is to have my wedding pictures scrapbooked by our first anniversary, which is coming up in less than a month! Luckily for me, I was able to whip out a few pages, check them out!
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| Does anybody else feel that "guy" pages are so much harder? |
I've really been trying harder to add details to my pages, but I'm completely slacking on titles. It seems as though there are only so many titles to choose from with weddings, and I don't want to overuse any in these albums. However, with formal pictures I think there's a little bit of slack (I can't exactly have "Wedding Party" on everything, and if we're just standing there what else am I supposed to title it?). I have a completely separate album for the formal pictures though, so it won't look too out of place from the ones that do feature a little more creativity. I wanted to keep one album small (I think total I will have 4 wedding albums) so I could keep it out, and the formals were a perfect fit for that purpose. I can't wait to knock some more out of the park this week!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Orange Julius
No, this is not the secret recipe to the chain...this is better! This was a family favorite growing up and I have no idea where my mom got the recipe from, but I do remember my aunts making it too so who knows! Easy, delicious, and perfect for these hot days!
Orange Julius
Ingredients:
(Not Pictured: 1 tsp vanilla)
Directions:
Orange Julius
Ingredients:
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| 1 Adorable Assistant |
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| Ice Cubes |
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| 3/4 cup powdered sugar |
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| 1 - 6oz can frozen orange juice (I thaw mine for a bit so it's easier for B to help) |
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| 1 cup water |
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| 1 1/4 cup milk |
Directions:
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| Combine all ingredients, PUT THE LID ON! |
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| Blend, grind, liquefy, cover ears, etc until desired consistency (I enjoy mine slushy-like, so I don't completely demolish the ice cubes) |
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| Pour and enjoy... |
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| (She's taking a breather) |
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| ...Aaaand there she goes again. |
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| So....B, do you like it? |
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| Savoring the flavor.... |
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| MMMMM! |
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| Don't leave any behind!!! |
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